Magic: The Gathering Paper by Kara A.

(I’m amazed at the range of papers that we’ve gotten. Some have been very scientific, but some have not. This is the latter. I think this essay was pieced together from several sources, which is why it’s turned out how it has, but you can take a look)

As evidenced by the balance of power attained in magic the gathering, we can definitively state the superiority of the attributes of the color green to those of blue.  Whilst a dotard may proclaim that the associations of the blue with the ephemeral may obscure the obvious, it is evident that this can be categorically proven false.  Quite the contrary, upon further inspection we find the wealth of positivitudes associated primarily with the azure variety compensate most directly for any shortcomings inferred or implied.  None were.  Upon closure of the aforementioned deal, an astute observer will undoubtebly associate a negative correlation between wavelength and badass.  For who are we to infer to overrupt the obvivity that is inherently associated with the ordration afformentioned —  Hereafter to be referred to as resultive proclivities of the bendifords.  Further upon the andromorphous suppositions of solution we obtain forclosure of the drain.

I am a druid, I live in the forest. More importantly, I’m a Fyndhorn Druid from Fyndhornia, the land of leaves and sorrow. I’m also a today Druid, I don’t think much about tomorrow. I cruise the limbs of the forested Trees and learn their ways through all my days. My ravens are dark, sleek, well-feathered. My wolves hunt with the night packs who know your mother’s cousins. But enough about me, let me tell you the ode to my land, Fyndhornia,

Oh we, the great Fyndhornians

Whose decks of elvish green

Destroy the other colors ‘cause they

Don’t know how to mulligan.

We own the shit out of red and blue,

White and black and we’re probably screwed-

Why must green be so weak-willed

When others just want to have us killed?

I once fell in love with a mermaid once, but one day I realized upon a walk on the beach that the ocean was not so beautiful as others had once proclaimed. That day, I discovered the seismic rift between blue and green and realized that I could only be on my own, without the influence of the ocean. The days of mermaids and counterspells were numbered, and so they finally came to an end. I am now only a monochrome, and so for monochrome we made an ode, an Ode to Green we call it in my homeland:

FOREST! You are my true mana.

ELVES! My faithful treefolk friends.

MARCELLO! Playing the ocarina

In the elevator


All of us sailing up in skies

The smoke through the recorder billowed and flew forth

And dissolved, and dissipated, avast…

Thank you.

When you figure out how to develop a certain strategy in your game, you first encounter the different types of categories that influence your gameplay. For example, different types of cards may be very strong in certain properties, but you begin to know the values of those differences, at least among the most common enemy pairings, or even – when joint attacks begin to be available – the most common allies.

If you want a really nomadic type of strategy game, send one of your friends running through  the building, repeatedly calling the elevator from different floors. Sometimes she is harassing the general surrounding folks, but sometimes she is interacting with an element within the elevator.

Strategy-wise, she is most effective in games that are not required to be, well, finished any time soon. Say, one where both decks involved are completely lost. If you need the game for some sort of ranking engagement, well, it needs to be finished.

Important point: many people who you never knew played games have played, or even own, Magic.

Owning Magic is not quite as amazing as possessing magic in the Harry Potter™ manner, but it is still something.

Important point 2: Magic is not the same as Dungeons and Dragons.

Another important is the definition of Lost. Lost is what happens when a play does not go to your favor, that is, you lose everything that had been played. It is stored in the Lost file, at least for a while – though be warned, there have been known implementations of the game where the cards do, in fact, disappear.

I ate bagles with cream cheese from the place next door, right after getting my ass kicked by thirty year olds and before getting ripped off by some jackass highschooler. Oh, the magic shop, home to a hill boys weekly distraction: the magic  tournament.  I don’t remember much beyond the soaring feeling of victory (No bird soars too high, if it soars with its own wings, as William blake reminds us from the flavor text of Winged Drake, tempest edition) and the feeling of, if on;ly I hadn’t been mana skrewed, THEN I could of won (the chronic gambler’s mantra). Nothing actually sticks to mind except   “ … but the lack thereof would leave me empty inside, swallow my doubt, turn it inside out find faith find nothing… heart in a blender wanna spin around to a beautiful oblivion. “ That’s the only thing that matter from those warm or cold days, those bagles and skittering skirges, those thirty year old men and highschool jackasses (all highschoolers are, I promise.) The lyrics to an eve 6 song that I don’t know the name to (to which I don’t know the name).

Magic is a cool game because it has really complicated rules but actually really simple rules. The rulebook is like 600 pages but you don’t have to read it all. The rules are right on the cards! It’s like chess with 10000 interchangeable pieces that interact in crazy ways. If you play, you will gain both intelligence points and fun points, thus leveling up in an enjoyable fashion. The colors bring a nice personality to the game and the theory can get really deep. Sometimes if you tap the cards just right, you will feel one with the universe.

I love magic the gathering.  T

Be careful with magic. When mixing feather of lion into your cauldron, be sure to add some hemlock and stir counterclockwise unless you want your eyebrows singed off. Invest in a hairtye or perhaps a stylish rune-inscribed rybbon to hold back your long wizardly beard during potion preparation. I’ve accidentally dyed mine an obscene shade of pink that elicited much mockery from my colleagues. Those sexy wild witches with flowers and frog legs in their hair, chasing the moon and collecting the tears of stars at midnight, on their swift brooms…avoid them. They will break your heart, and you’ll be lucky if it’s metaphorical. And their damn black cats will love nothing more than clawing up your blood-written spellbooks, which are a bitch to replace given

the economic depression. Also, allow me to put in a good word for the pipeweed. My buddy Gandalf can even teach you how to blow ships. And my old flame Broomhilde can probably teach you how to blow dragons, but I wouldn’t show that trick off to the kids. The dragons might have privacy concerns. P.S. There’s these new-fangled fluffy pagans, Wiccans, whatever that spell it Magyck. Fuck them. Buy a dictionary, ladies. Changing the spelling won’t change how much you fail at spelling.

“Baby I want you long and sweet”. This essay will hit the page limit and then some.

Arthur C. Clarke said that “any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” Forget witches and wands, we’ve got iPods and TiVos, y’all! World of Warcraft – thousands (hundreds of thousands? Millions?) of people, enacting their nerdiest fantasies together, including yes, wizards, separated by thousands of miles, over wires in the ground or even through the air itself! – is nothing if not magic. Might it even be the new Magic – Magic the Gathering, that is? :-O The new pastime for a technologically magical generation.

And now for something completely different.  Let’s discuss how to incorporate a mana curve into a traditional booster draft.  Consider the following scenario: it’s your 11th pick in the first booster, and you have to choose between a (W) 1/1 flyer and a (2)(W)(W) pacifism.  In the abstract, there’s no way to determine which pick you should take.  I can easily construct picks 1-10 such that the cheap, aggressive flyer is clearly preferable to the slow, vulnerable removal spell.   But I could also easily construct picks 1-10 that predict a slow, card-advantage based UW control deck where early tempo not nearly as important as an abundance of removal spells.

In general, it is important to consider with each pick not only which card is objectively best, but which card best interacts with the cards you have already drafted.  For example, if you are drafting a UR tempo based deck, but have seven bounce spells and no burn, a bad burn spell is a much better pick than a quality bounce spell.  Or in a URGBW domain deck, if you have three great finishers but no mana-fixers, a land search spell is a much better pick than a fourth finisher.

Love, the Elevator and Breakfast Room Crews

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